I have pretty much always liked giving gifts.  I haven't, however, always liked getting them.  In fact, a lot of times as a kid I felt pretty guilty about getting gifts becuase someone I cared about had spent their money on me and I didn't really like the gift that much.  It took me a long time to understand what it was that was really bothering me.

I know I'm not the only one in my family that likes giving gifts; hell my older brother gave me an awesome gift last summer; just becuase.  I loved the gift; not just because of what it was but because of the gesture; the pure act of giving.  There was no holiday, birthday, or special occasion, he just wanted to give me something nice.  He wanted to.

I can't stress that last sentence enough.  He wanted to.  

Gifting Obligations

I still don't really enjoy getting gifts at christmas or on my birthday.  I know that the people who give them to me want to give me something nice - but the formalization of the effort, the implicit expectation of giving a gift just really ruins the experience for me.  I don't like giving gifts on birthdays or christmas and I don't like getting them then.

The Army

When I was in the Army one thing that always bugged the hell out of me was exit awards.  Basically, when you were ready to terminate your assocaition with the military, either via not relenlisting or by retiring, your unit commander would submit you for some kind of medal; an actual honest to goodness Army decoration.  Depending on how long you had been in you'd be put up for an Army Achievement Medal or, for longer timers, an Army Commendation Medal.

I was in the Army for four years active duty.  I was good at what I did but my mouth often got me in trouble.  I was never put in for an award based on my performance in the service.  However, when I declared that I was not going to reenlist my unit wanted to put me in for a medal.  I don't know or care which one.  I told them no; unequivocably no.  I did not want to get a gift of a medal due to a sense of obligation.  I felt it lessened the value of the award given to people based on merit; people who deserved it.  If my work in the Army did not warrant a medal I'd be damned if my leaving the Army did.

I would have loved to have received a medal had my commander wanted to give me one but I hated the idea of getting one because he felt obligated to give it to me.

Secret Santas

As I said at the beginning I love giving gifts.  I love the feeling I get from giving a gift that people really like.  I get great enjoyment from knowing I've successfully picked out something for someone even if I don't really know the recipient.  That joy of knowing I made someone else happy is the best part of the gift exchange process for me.

This is why I like secret santa type gift exchanges so much.  I particpate in some on a semi-regular basis on redditgifts.com.  There is no obligation and in fact I don't really care if I receive a gift from whomever draws my name in the random pool.  So long as the person who gets the gift acknowledges they received it I'm content becuase I feel like I made a good effort to get the person a gift they will like (there are a variety of measures invovled in picking a good gift out for a stranger online).

Make it Personal

I need to make this more personal.  Currently I only do spontaneous gifts for people who I don't know.  I need to do the same for people I do know - the catch is I don't want anyone who receives a gift from me to feel obligated to reciprocate.  Otherwise it is just a transaction where we each buy or make the other person a gift.  Under that scenario I might as well just get myself a gift and cut out the middle man and work for my giver.